The Iggblog

So there’s this house near me. It steals holidays. 2 years ago around this time they put up a nativity scene in the barn they had connected to the house. Basically it was lifesize scarecrow-esque straw dolls all arranged in the proper fashion. They have it in the basement of this barn with the storm doors open so it’s visible to the road. It was pretty cool for a season I guess, but they left it up. All year. For 2 years now. The dolls are all faded and whatever dyes they used are running from moisture. Moisture has gotten to the straw too… the dolls are all hunched over and saggy. Honestly, it looks like a family of zombies about to feast on a baby Jesus. It’s looked like that for a solid year now.

They didn’t stop there though. Last year they put up electric candles in the windows. Pretty typical, except of course that they never took them down. This spring I noticed that they hung easter eggs in the dead tree out front, dangling them from strings. It’s almost terrifying. This halloween they put electric lit plastic pumpkins in the windows, right next to the electric candles. There’s no consistency to their placement with respect to the candles, they were just kind of tossed in the windows.

This family is collecting holidays and violating them. I half expect them to steal a turkey from the turkey farm down the street and crucify it in the front yard next thanksgiving. Maybe steal a baby, dress it up like a Leprechaun, and hang it from the barn roof for St.Patty’s day.

Originally published at The IggBlog. You can comment here or there.