The Iggblog

Pennies Work

I was cuising around today minding my own business, riding the left hand lane in moderate traffic. Both lanes were full but moving at a decent pace. I’m the last one in line in the left and there’re plenty of cars on the right, so I feel like its alright for me to be there. I see this huge new dodge pickup coming barrleing down the highway. As he’s getting close, a car from the right pulls in behind me. the pickup rides this guy to within an inch of his bumper, and the car gets back into the right as quickly as a pocket opens up. Sure enough, next thing I know this guy is riding me real close. I mean REAL close. weaving back and forth a little, apparently thinking that I control the 20something cars in front of me, and that if I speed up so will they. I look to the right, and there’s no way for me to easily get over.

Step one: I tap my brakes a little. not enough to slow down, but I give him 2 quick flashes of the reds to show him that I know he’s riding my ass and I don’t approve. He continues.

Step two: I jab the brakes enough to lurch back an inch or so then get back up to speed. This just pisses him off even more. apparently this guy owns the road, and someone forgot to send me a memo to let me know

Step three : Grab one of the several pennines I keep in my armrest handle/ penny jar. I roll down the window, and put my hand out in plain sight for the truckster to see. He backs right off.

I’ve never had to go beyond the brake jab to get someone off my arse before. I was fully prepared to toss the penny, followed by several friends if nececary, if the guy didn’t get off my arse. Luckily this guy was stayed at the mere threat of copper paint-killers. I think most people would be. If I could have gotten over to the right I would have. certainly if I was riding the left lane and there was nobody in the right, I’ll let any speedster by since there’s no reason for me to block him. if both lanes are pretty packed tho, I don’t tolerate tailgaters. Thankfully the threat of pennies was plenty to get out of danger.

I saw this guy tailgate plenty of other people after traffic opened up a little. He kept his distance from me though. I know its assholish to threaten to throw stuff at someone, but if something happened and I had to slam on the brakes for whatever reason, I’d quickly have become a hood ornament. I’m all set with that.

-IggDawg