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It burns

November 22nd, 2006 Leave a comment Go to comments

We work in a secure facility, and the work we do involves logging into devices at the core of very large company networks. International corporations, banks, state/government devices, etc. So running a tight ship is pretty important. One of the rules around here is that if you get up, you lock your computers before you leave the desk. Two reasons for this. The first being so that private information isn’t on display to the whole ops center. The second is so that when a company comes in for a tour, they don’t see some other company’s information on display at an abandoned workstation and end up thinking “how secure is our shit?”.

Like mane workplaces, one of the pastimes here at work is fucking with eachother. The favorite things to prey upon are eachothers work PCs and laptops. Since most people forget to lock their machines from time to time, we do all kinds of mean stuff to them. This is primarily as a reminder that “you should have locked your shit since anyone else could have gained access”. The stock prank is just loading up meatspin (if you don’t know, don’t ask) and then locking the machine on the victim’s behalf. Sometimes we mess with homepages and IE links. Sometimes write confessions of love via email to some dude in the back row, and leave it unsent so it pops up when they unlock the machine. you know, asinine childish stuff no adult should really get any fun out of doing.

So this morning I walk in and I notice some extra folders on my desktop. “Guys I would blow”, “Hansen MP3s”, and “Shemale porn”. My assailant had even go so far as to populate the “guys I would blow” folder with various unsavory characters. Who would do such a thing? No other than my boss, Joe. He’s pretty much the driving force behind all the pranking that goes on here. “Dude, did you see that? he left his laptop unlocked. we’ve gotta do something”. He’s like the little Jiminy Locust in the back of our heads, egging us on to mess with eachother… when he’s too busy to do it himself. And since he’s the boss, our actions are pre-approved.

Anyways… I just got done flushing all the meatspin (Joe: “Hey Ian, why don’t you pull up event query in IE for me real quick…”) out of my IE links and thought I would share our little workplace tradition.

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  1. November 22nd, 2006 at 17:02 | #1

    Heh. You got lucky. I know someone who had her ‘m’ and ‘n’ keys reversed, on her keyboard and in the keymap, long enough to train her to the mistake.

    • November 22nd, 2006 at 17:14 | #2

      one of the favorite tricks here is to remap the “e” key with the “backspace” key. or something like that. nobody’s done that to me yet, but it takes people a few hilarious minutes to figure it out. Actually switching the physical keys is a nice nice addition though

      • November 22nd, 2006 at 17:20 | #3

        the beauty of it is that the keyboard works fine if you look at it; type ‘m’, and you get ‘m’. It only fucks up if you rely on your memory of where the keys are.

  2. November 22nd, 2006 at 21:47 | #4

    Oh, that’s fucking fabulous! LOL

  3. November 22nd, 2006 at 23:08 | #5

    Wow, those are some great tricks. 😀

    In 6th graade, I rearranged the keys in this horrific business class to spell out somehting juvenile. I think it said “Queer” somewhere (obviously borrowing from multiple keyboards). God I hated that class. D:

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