The IggBlog

So there’s this guy at our place with a Segway. You know, the dorky pogo stick with wheels that middle age yuppies and mall cops think are really cool. Well, this guy thinks it’s real cool. And he’s fucking creepy about it. I first heard about CSG one saturday morning when Emily came into the apartment after doing something or other downstairs. She said “did you know there was a guy with a Segway that lives here?” to which I of course said no. I mean, who really owns those things in real life? Turns out, that guy does.

Not only did she run into this random dude with a Segway, he was in the elevator. Standing in the back corner of the elevator car. On his Segway. Staring at the doorway when it opened. I’ve never run into him in that capacity, but I have seen him come out the back door of our apartment tower to take the trash out to the dumpster, buzzing along on his merry way. This struck me as odd since it isn’t exactly a long haul to the dumpster. I used my trusty jet pack to get a good view to illustrate:

(clicky for larger image)

I mean, a minute or so out in the harsh wide open. Maybe he’s a vampire, and he’s afraid he’ll either burn up if he’s outside for too long… or blind some people with his sparkly skin (depending on your flavor of vampire). The really creepy part is that he was just throwing away small bags, and we have trash chutes on each floor that they could have easily fit in. Maybe he didn’t want the facilities guy going through his trash in the morning? Sounding more and more like this guy is ditching body parts.

Today it got even more weird… I saw this random creepy white van when I was driving into the parking lot. It’s never been here before. It looked like someone was moving or something, because the back was open and there was what I thought was a dolly on the back. Nope, it was a Segway. Just like the trash incidents, it’s only a couple dozen paces from the door. And although he’s not exactly in underwear model shape, he’s not so massive and slovenly that he needs a machine to get around. So there CSG was, washing down the outside of his totally not sketchy windowless white van. Cleaning blood, no doubt. Dismembering bodies is messy business.

Although I risked life and limb to get this next picture, I figured the internet deserved more than one lousy shot. So stealthy as I could I got another. It’s not immediately obvious from the thumbnail, but he is no in fact riding the Segway naked. Although I’m guessing that’s in the near future. He’s just wearing skin colored clothes. I guess it could be clothes made of skin, I was kind of far away…

I thought this was good enough to repost. Alt-text reproduced faithfully.

Ref: http://xkcd.com/712/

“A Polish newspaper mistakenly identified “Pedobear”, a notorious internet meme, as one of the mascots of the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver.
…
It appears that the newspaper lifted the picture from Google Images, unaware that it had been created as a prank by Michael Barrick, a Canadian artist and graphic designer. “

Full Article: Clicky

Originally published at The IggBlog. You can comment here or there.

Woot.com shirt of the day today. So pissed it sold out before I saw it

For whatever reason, probably my own coffee habits, I was remembering a VW commercial from back in the day. Some girl that owns a coffee place running around delivering things with her golf. At the end she says “I’ve got to cut back on the caffeine”, which I always find myself saying to myself at around 2 in the afternoon. So I found it on youtube for kicks, and was surprised when I started watching it. I actually had to hunt down some info and see if my hunch was right. It was. If you watch NCIS, you’ll know it when you see it. The ironing is delicious.

Originally published at The IggBlog. You can comment here or there.

Stumbled on this a little earlier. At first it just looked like some kind of vintage computer book. I like those just from the standpoint of seeing what people back in the day thought stuff would be like now. Then I actually started reading it, and it’s been edited a little. It gets funnier as the pages go on. Content behind the cut.

continue reading…

Heard about this earlier today and finally got myself to check it out. Normally I don’t touch celebrity gossip, but this sounded funny. Apparently Lindsey Lohan made a spoof eharmony profile video for giggles. She may be batshit crazy and a train wreck of a human, but at least she can laugh at herself.

Originally published at The IggBlog. You can comment here or there.

I normally could give two craps about celebrity news. But this guy isn’t really a celebrity per se, and he’s so shady that I can’t help myself. The “shamwow guy”, aka Vince Shlomi, airs commercials that reek so badly of scam that you feel the need to take a shower after watching them. Dry off with a regular towel though, kids… You’d probably catch something if you actually used a ShamWoW. Latest news on this lovable fellow is that apparently he’s been arrested for punching a prostitute in the face. Classy.

“Police reports obtained by the site claim that Shlomi met 26-year-old prostitute Lenea Harris at a Miami nightclub, and subsequently brought her back to his room at Setai Hotel. Shlomi allegedly paid Harris $1,000 for “straight sex.”

That’s went things took a turn.

Shlomi told police “that he kissed [Harris] when all of a sudden [Harris] bit his tongue and would not let go,” according to the report.

Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue…”

Full article: Clicky

For your viewing pleasure:

Click for full sized and obviously NWS image:

Shamwow and Slap-Chop ads:
ShamWoW
Slap-Chop

Originally published at The IggBlog. You can comment here or there.

The name of the department I work in right now is insite. It’s probably just some corporate goon’s idea of a trendy spelling of “insight”. When our updated systems get rolled out the new name for my group will be RIM, for “remote infrastructure management”. Because… I mean… Everyone loves acronyms, right? This means my job title will be “RIM operator”. I think people need to be a little more careful with acronyms though. We’re already calling eachother rim jockeys, and we’re just waiting for someone to come walking in with a resumee asking for details on the RIM job. At least they didn’t go with “automated network usage support”. It’s a bit of a stretch, but you get the idea.

In related news, I’ve come to find out one of my coworkers almost got a medal for his time served over in the middle east. the acronym on the medal would have been for “the war on terror”, signifying his diligence in the fight against TWAT for his time served.

Yesterday I went in to see the dermatologist that’s been keeping tabs on me since friday. I think I’m a pet project of his since I’m more interesting than the normal grade of skin issues. He said I looked to be bouncing back from everything much faster than he expected, so he backed off on one of my perscriptions. He also perscribed an even longer course of antibiotics though, just to make sure the strep was dead. I whined about this a little since antibiotics tend to make me smell funny. He asked me if I’d rather smell a little off for a few weeks or have another outbreak. Before I could answer the obvious he holds up a finger and starts writing on a perscription pad, “I have just the thing” he said. He tore off the pad and handed it to me… all it said was “axe body spray”. Sometimes I miss the ridiculously obvious.

Originally published at The IggBlog. You can comment here or there.